LATEST HEADLINE
I promised this a long time ago
08:11 13/08/2008
For those of you who were reading my reviews back in the old days (or have bothered to cut your way through the back log) you'll know that I said I was going to do this a while ago...but unfortunately I forgot about it until today. So here it is:
Football Manager 2008 vs Championship Manager 2008
PAST HEADLINES
I love it when you call...
14:22 12/08/2008
Yes, tis yet another Random Penguin review based on a gadget *waits for the audience to stop gasping*. But which one I hear you ask. Well...
Skypephone
That was a bit of an anti-climax wasn't it? Oh well *prances off*
My childhood makes a return
11:47 11/08/2008
Well technically it doesn't but in some weird and tacky form it does with my brief look back on the life of the gaming icon, Sonic the Hedgehog
I promised you a review a day from now on...
23:59 10/08/2008
...and I failed...I tried but I was busy yesterday so fuck it, I'll put one a day out until Friday as thats when I piss off for a few days.
Anyway, here's my latest review. Granted, as you'll discover soon I didn't spend as long as I normally do on the writing but it's here, it's queer, get...wait, sorry no, thats something I had to learn for this thing tomorrow...I'll explain later.
Rainbow Six Vegas 2
The most difficult of things...
19:31 08/08/2008
This is probably the most difficult review I've ever had to write...mainly because I'm not sure on the level of abuse I can take from groupies....i guess I'll Find out.
A review of the discography of Muse
If Aperture Science only knew
15:59 07/08/2008
Today's cynical penguin outlook focuses on a game I have confessed my love to on many an occasion, Portal
And don't worry children, mummy and daddy still love you. We're just having a bit of a hard time at the moment.
A look into the future
14:31 06/08/2008
Yes I know it's been a while since I last posted and I originally promised to be on here daily but things have come up and my free time that was spent doing reviews for my penguin has seriously diminished.
Anyway, here is a look ahead:
E3
Additionally, one of my friends from university came up with the idea a while back of a website where we could commentate on the downfall of society. Being the cynical fucker that I am I was more than happy to agree to go along with this, however the idea never came to fruition...until now.
Grumpy Young Men
I haven't added any articles to it yet for the same reason as above and due to the fact that Rohan should draw first blood; it is his baby after all. So if you fancy hearing my incessant rants on society rather than on different forms of media and crisps then check it out...and if i ever use that phrase again I'm going to have to climb the nearest gun tower with the biggest assault rifle I can find.
Problems solved
14:27 27/27/2008
Finally, I have managed to get the reviews from one computer to another by going out and buying blank CD's. I cant be arsed to be funny here so here are the reviews:
GTA IV
The Matrix Trilogy
28 Days Later & 28 Weeks Later
Problems, problems, problems...
19:58 26/07/2008
Right now I would love to do nothing more than post the 3 reviews that I've completed on here but I cant. Read my ramblings section to find out why and in the mean time I'll try and find a way to get them on here before the turn of the century.
I hate the internet!!
16:27 18/07/2008
It seems that ever since I started doing this website the internet has turned on me. Most people would read that as an omen of this being a shit website but as I already know that I will strive to keep doing reviews.
It is for that very reason that, even without the prospect of publishing them any time in the near future, i continued to write reviews in my absence. Not one daily but a few. Here is are the first two that I've finished.
Ghosts of Mars
iVamp
There are more to follow after I put the finishing touches on them...which basically means remove 50% of the swearing.
What exactly is a half life?...
13:43 02/07/2008
Here's the "treat". My Half Life 2 review consisting of the original game and the preceding 2 episodes.
Plus some of my Photoshop work of Gordon Freeman vs Master Chief.
Apologies
11:58 02/07/2008
Sorry for any inconvenience caused to your daily does of bile intake. There have been a few problems with the weebly serves making it so my website was taken down. However, as a treat for you I have all a 3 parter review coming up later today (I couldn’t be arsed to keep writing with my website down!)
Watch this space!
2 for 1!
21:13 25/06/2008
As I was so cruel to deprive you of a review yesterday, today I decided to do two reviews in one for you. This review is on Deus Ex & Deus Ex: Invisible War.
"If you leave me now..."
09:37 23/06/2008
Just before I leave for a day in the sun here is my review for Mario Kart Wii. There are times i wish i could stomp on peoples heads to kill them like Mario does...but murder isn't a good idea...is it?
Bring me the head of the master chef!!...Sorry, chief....CHIEF!!
19:25 22/06/2008
After a small blib in my cynicism levels this morning I have managed to track down and kill Halo 3 for your reading pleasure...plus I genuinely enjoyed beating the shit out of it...but thats another issue.
p.s. don't worry, my troops didn't manage to cut off Lloyd Grossman's head....honest....
Drunken Crispiness
14:05 21/06/2008
Last night for some strange and unknown reason I wrote a review on Ready Salted Crisps and posted it up. Rather than destroying this I thought I would leave it up with a few sober alterations (removal of half a million expletives)
Enjoy!
Peer/pussy pressure
21:06 20/06/2008
My girldfriend has in addition to telling me I need to wear a diaper (...the fuck) has pressured me under the guise of some or no sex to doing a review of Oblivion for the Xbox 360.
It had better be fucking worth it!!
New Section Added
19:31 20/06/2008
Its a busy day!! The new ramblings section is basically a glorified blog which will have stuff about my daily life in it...so there will be alot to do with cheese and wasps! Not at the same time obviously!
First Review Up!
15:48 20/06/2008
My first review is up. Its a look at the band Sneaker Pimps and my experience with the band...so it's probably only of interest to me but fuck it, I wanted to do that review first!
Welcome to Random Penguin...
13:56 20/06/2008
Yes bile lovers, the time has come again for another ranting adolescent to join the fray and start commenting on all things loved and hated. This site will be updated daily with reviews, opinions and other such things to keep myself sane and (less importantly) entertain you.
So without further delay, go enjoy the site...when it has some more stuff on it!